i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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