They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
