ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
