he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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