I wish I only lived at night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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