How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You need Xanax blowdarts
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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