it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
