I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
