So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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