New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
