This is not my ceiling
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
