please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
