I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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