I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
