The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
