it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I will be naked everywhere
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
