I need help removing her.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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