I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
