If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
