I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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