Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize