remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
