So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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