Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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