just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize