idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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