She announced her abortion via fbk
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
