did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
