yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
