Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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