im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
