none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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