Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize