I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How does it feel to date your dad?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
