After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
