on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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