theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
