oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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