I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize