There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
