During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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