I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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