I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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