i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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