That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hippo gnu deer
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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