I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
