i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
