You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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