theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You took a bar mat shot.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize