OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
