he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
