That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
