how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
