We won't sleep together?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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