So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
