FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
