I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So squirting runs in the family.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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