i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
